Category Archives: Relationships

1 Corinthians, Love, Relationships, Sex

God’s Text on Sex

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HusbandWife2In a marital relationship, both you and your spouse must communicate. I have seen too many times in counseling where one spouse refuses or withholds sex from their mate. If you are in this situation, ask yourself how you may be responsible. Guys, sex is not just for your pleasure. Ladies, you need to communicate clearly to your spouse when something is not pleasurable or not going well with your husband. God desires to give you pleasure and He desires that you be a pleasure to one another. Discuss with one another what brings pleasure and what does not. If something is not going well, please, please talk to your spouse without undermining their confidence.

It is not Biblical to deprive your spouse of sex. You should never be selfish in any way with your spouse, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. At times, it may be a sacrifice or an unselfish thing you do to have a physical relationship. Maybe you do it in spite of being tired, having a headache, etc. etc. A sexual problem is often a symptom of a bigger problem, which is selfishness. As Christians, should not be selfish in our lives or in our physical relationships. You entered into a covenant with your spouse and your body is no longer yours according to 1st Corinthians 7:4.

Just as Jesus Christ died for you, so should you and your spouse should die to selfishness. Not just sexually but in all ways. You should please your spouse and submit to one another’s likes as long as it is not contrary to the Word of God. Your nature is to be self-centered, but Jesus wants you to be others-centered. Friend, consider one another.

Take time with your spouse and communicate your likes and dislikes with one another. Friend, by considering one another, I will promise you that your marriage will be better than you have imagined, your spouse will be blessed and God will bless you.

Life Lesson: If you are married, you should be having sex or making love on a regular basis.

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David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form here.

Conflict, Forgiveness, Proverbs, Relationships

Why Forgive?

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iron-sharpens-iron

During a recent Servant Leadership conference, the speaker chose to end the conference with a teaching about forgiving others. Why would he do that? Because when we are serving alongside one another, we are likely to grate on each other. The book of Proverbs refers to it as a sharpening process: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

As we serve together, times of friction occur and when that happens, we can sometimes pick up an offense. What you do with that offense is up to you, friend, but holding on to an offense is like putting yourself in a prison. And you are the only one who has the key to freedom.

Each one of us is a work in progress.

I am reminded of the story of an old sculptor. One day, someone pointed out a marble lion and asked the sculptor how he could sculpt such a beautiful thing from the slab he started with. The sculptor said, “That’s easy. I just chip away the bits that don’t look like a lion.” That is what God is doing with us while we serve alongside one another. Be thankful. You can be conformed to the image of Christ. In that process, the person that really grates on your nerves… well… God is using them to help you. Let us be quick to forgive. God can forgive each one of us of a debt we could never pay. Let us be quick to show that same grace and mercy to others. I know, it can be hard, but you know the key to forgiving others? Pray for them the way that you pray for yourself.

Life Lesson: Forgive

Without forgiving, you can never experience the fullness of life God has in store for you.

 

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David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form here.

1 Corinthians, Conflict, Relationships, Unity, Violence

Conflict – Now That’s One Bad Relationship!

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duelling_pistolsThe Vice President of the United States was so angered by the refusal of the Secretary of the Treasury to apologize for remarks made that he challenged him to a duel and shot him to death.

Conflict arises in politics, the workplace, marriage, family, and churches. We all have some kind of problem in the realm of our relationships. Maybe you went into a relationship thinking that you were 100% in agreement about everything. I’m sure that bubble was quickly burst. It’s rare to have absolute agreement between two people much less between hundreds or even thousands.

When you work through differences, you build a stronger relationship. Many times, when a marriage hits a rough patch, there is a freshening of the relationship. It’s like hitting the reset button on a game console – suddenly things are working again.

Disagreements can also be distractions, especially within the church. How do you keep a church from reaching others? You create division among the members. How many churches has Satan rendered ineffective because he was able to generate dissension? Christians are easy prey when the trap is baited with prideful prejudice over unimportant matters. Division hurts Jesus and the cause of Christ.

Life Lesson: When we come together, we create problems. When we work together to solve them, we become stronger people and stronger in the Lord.

It was sad that two of our nation’s founding fathers, Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton, could not settle their differences without bloodshed and death. Yet only the strength, mercy and grace of God keeps any of us alive.

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David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form here.

Beauty, James, Love, Relationships, Song of Solomon

What a Difference Words Make!

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DifferencesThe bride-to-be was depressed just days before her wedding because of her appearance. She looked different from the other girls.

What can cause someone to change their view of themselves? Could it be as simple as kind words of affection? Let’s look at the case of Solomon and his bride to be. First, we find a woman depressed about her appearance. She is concerned about because she worked in the vineyards, under the hot sun, and was unable to care for herself. But pretty soon, she calls herself a “rose of Sharon” – a beautiful and highly valued flowering plant. What a change of perspective! All because Solomon spoke loving words of affection and encouragement to her. This shouldn’t surprise us since the Bible tells us that words are powerful.

In the book of James, it says, “In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.”

The power of our words is unbelievable. Many times we forget that and hurt with our words rather than heal. God desires that we all walk with grace, humility and love for one another. We should look for opportunities to lift one another up with our words. Speak words of gratitude, of thanksgiving and of grace to one another. Husbands, speak affectionately to your wife. Wives, speak encouragement to your husbands. In this circle of loving words and affection, you will find a healthy, growing relationship. Our words are powerful so let’s use them wisely.

Life Lesson: Words are powerful tools that can be used to build people up or tear people down.

Thousands of years later, the story of this depressed fiancé still inspires us to spread kind words.

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David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form here.

Knowledge, Proverbs, Relationships, Wisdom

Knowledge vs. Wisdom

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TheresaRiggiKidsIn 1989, Pasquale married Theresa– a pretty straight-A student, good cook, and even taught music and sang. He never imagined her choices would one day destroy their entire family.

 Wisdom is often misunderstood. Many people assume that wisdom is knowledge, but there are many people who have brains filled with knowledge but are still unwise. Solomon understood this truth and that’s why we see wisdom often described in regards to action or lifestyle. After all, you can have all the book smarts in the world, but if the information you learn does not affect the way you live, then it is worthless.

 When we spend time meditating on God’s Word we will be equipped with biblical knowledge so that we can then live our lives with wisdom through the Holy Spirit. In life we are going to make mistakes and do some foolish things and yet through the grace of God we can get up, dust ourselves off and continue seeking Christ. Over time, we can look back and see a consistency in our life that stems from our increase in biblical wisdom. We won’t be perfect, but we will be able to celebrate God’s ability to bring us from point A to point B through the power of His Word and Spirit.

 Life Lesson: A wise person is not considered wise because of a good moment, but because of the consistency in lifestyle choices.

 Unfortunately, Theresa’s selfish and unwise choices ended in divorce, the murder of her children, and finally, the taking of her own life. When faced with choices, pray for and chose wisdom.

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David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form here.

1 Peter, Conflict, Integrity, Relationships, Unity

Dealing with Differences

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 Fred Phelps, the leader of a small congregation known for their controversial funeral-picketing activities, died last month. Ironically, the family announced there would be no funeral.

unity-in-the-bodyLet’s be honest, relationships are tough. Whether it’s your family or a friendship, every relationship takes time and effort in order to work. The same is true for the Church. It made up of people of different backgrounds, personalities and experiences. We each bring something unique to the table, and then we are commanded to love each other. How does that work? Won’t our differences cause arguments and division? They can, unless we all start from the same point – Jesus Christ.

In the book of First Peter in the Bible, the church is told to be of ‘one mind’. We are all supposed to lay aside our own thoughts and attitudes for the thoughts and attitudes of Jesus. How do we do this? As we read and study the Bible, our minds are transformed more and more. As we grow, we begin learning how to love, forgive, show compassion and have mercy. When we start with a desire to be like Christ, we end up united with our brothers and sisters who are doing the same. So today, if there is tension in a relationship, look to the Bible and begin loving like Jesus.

 Life Lesson: Unity in church starts with each person submitting to God’s Word.

 A number of the targets of Phelps’ picketing were quick to encourage others to forgive and put the past behind them. Pray that his church members read the same verses.

 
 
 

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1 Peter, Conflict, Love, Relationships, Unity

Two People – One Mind?

Dee’s family openly aired their disagreements. Jerome’s family did their best to avoid conflict. When they got married, you can imagine how that worked out.

 Let’s be honest, relationships are tough. Whether it’s your family or a friendship, every relationship takes time and effort in order to work. The same is true for the church. The body of Christ is made up of people of different backgrounds, personalities and experiences. We each bring something unique to the table and then we are commanded to love each other. How does that work? Won’t our differences cause arguments and division? They can, unless we all start from the same point – Jesus Christ.

In 1 Peter 3, the church is told to be of ‘one mind’. We are all supposed to lay aside our own thoughts and attitudes for the thoughts and attitudes of Jesus. How do we do this? We jump into God’s Word and in the process; our minds are transformed more and more into the mind of Christ. As we grow, we begin learning how to love, forgive, show compassion and have mercy. When we start with a desire to be like Christ, we end up united with our brothers and sisters who are doing the same. So today, if there is tension in a relationship, look to the Bible and begin loving like Jesus.

Life Lesson: Unity in church starts with each person submitting to God’s Word.

You’ll be happy to know that Dee and Jerome just celebrated their 30th year of marriage.

David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form below.

 


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Column #14-0304 (Life Lesson based on 1 Peter 3:8 teaching)
2 Corinthians, Proverbs, Relationships, Tempers, Violence

A Gentle Answer


Screenshot 2014-03-05 01.14.14aAn elementary school in Georgia, an AK-47, 500 Rounds of ammo, and shots fired.  Antoinette tells the shooter, “We’re not gonna hate you, baby… It’s going to be alright sweetie… “

 Relationships are difficult. They require work, constant attention and above all, they should be filled with love. Of course, this is easier said than done in many cases. What happens when you dealing with a difficult person? Often, we begin identifying what is wrong with the other person, but what if we looked first at ourselves? What if we first asked, “How should I respond?”

 Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” In our human abilities, we don’t feel like returning anger with a gentle answer, but it will put the fire out. A harsh word makes it escalate. It’s amazing how much the Bible mentions about the effect of our words. Watching your words can make your job better, relationships better and give you less regrets later. Do you want to change the people in your life? Start by changing yourself and the perfect place to begin is with your words. Respond in love, and God can do amazing things in all your relationships.

 Life Lesson: You can be changed today. Every relationship you have including your job can be improved today.

 20 year-old Michael surrendered to police without anyone being injured, thanks to the gentle answer and words of love shared by Antoinette– one courageous lady.

David McGee is the founder of Cross The Bridge Ministries as well as a pastor, teacher and author.  He may be contacted using the form below.

 


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Column #14-0301 (Life Lesson based on 2 Corinthians 12:19 teaching)